Back from Oblivion

You know, I would be spending my Sunday afternoon watching football, except this week the doubleheader game is on CBS which means I don't get it. (Yes I went through the trouble and expense of purchasing a 27 inch flat screen TV, but still remain too miserly to even get basic cable). Basically because my antenna is a piece of crap, I get three stations well: Fox, Pax, and MTV2 (dont ask). With quite a bit of effort and awkward positioning I can get CBS to the extent that I can hear the announcers and I see moving figures on the screen, although it often seems like I am watching three football games at once. So basically, theres only so much of that I can take until i get a headache, which is why, given no alternative, I've finally decided to return to the mecca of internet nerdiness: the blog.

Speaking of no alternatives: did anyone else watch the debate on thursday and immediately dread the next four years of American leadership? Now I'll be the first person to admit that I don't know all that much about politics and really don't give two shits about the whole system, but even I cringed when GW was speaking. What an idiot! How has America not gone up in flames the past 4 years? Did anyone else laugh out loud when he exclaimed and I quote: "Of course I know Osama bin Laden attacked us. I know that!"...Way to go George, we're all really impressed. Want a cookie or a medal? Perhaps 3 purple hearts?

And other than proving that John Kerry can hold his own in a public forum, what did the entire thing accomplish? Kerry clearly won the debate in my opinion, but what does that really indicate? I mean there were points in time where I thought Homer Simpson could have beaten Bush ("Extended warranty! How could I lose?!") . Did we actually learn anything? Well, here's what I learned:

1. Being president is "hard work" (Did anyone else think Bush sounded like the class idiot making excuses for bombing every exam? Of course its not easy, but there have been 41 other men who have done an adequate job or better...strap on a pair)

2. Kerry will ruin all of our relationships with world powers. Can you believe he forgot Poland when listing the nations that came to our aid at the beginning of the Iraq debacle?! Poland! What is this world coming to, when a possible Commander in Chief neglects a country as important as Poland? Really John, get with the program.

3. Debate moderators don't really wield any power over the candidates. Did you see how GW interrupted practically every Kerry rebuttal before being granted his 30 seconds extra. Weren't you just waiting for Jim Lehrer to tell him to shut the hell up? Or perhaps better yet scold him for speaking out of turn. I propose that Ray Lewis be the moderator at the next presidential debate to teach these punk politicians a lesson. Nobody would fuck with him.

Yeah thats about what I got from it. After a while it became awfully repetitive (I heard "Wrong war, wrong place, wrong time" so much I thought I was listening to a Fatboy Slim song), but I'm glad I watched and am looking forward to the next one...if only to see our brilliant leader once again stun us all with his dizzying intellect.

And as usual I will leave you with a Simpsons reference, this one naming two other world superpowers that Kerry can ruin our relations with.

From an advertisement for a soccer match:
"This match will decide once and for all which nation is the greatest on earth: Mexico or Portugal!"