Tuesday, November 30, 2004

The Ten Best Songs You've Never Heard:

(in no particular order)

1. "Baseball" - Ozma
2. "Beautiful Girl" - Last Week
3. "Apple Blossom" - The White Stripes
4. "Dirty Nursery Rhymes" - 2 Live Crew
5. "Here We Go Again" - Riddlin Kids
6. "Get Over It" - OK Go
7. "Summer Wind was Always Our Song" - The Ataris
8. "Would You Be Willing?" - Dog's Eye View
9. "See You in Hell" - Monster Magnet
10. "Tequila" - A.L.T. and the Lost Civilization

The Ten Best Songs You May Have Heard:

1. "Open Road Song" - Eve 6
2. "It Ain't Me Babe" - The Turtles
3. "I Will be Hating You for Christmas" - Everclear
4. "Hellbound" - Eminem feat. J-Black and Masta Ace
5. "Hear You Me" - Jimmy Eat World
6. "There Is" - Boxcar Racer
7. "Fightstarter Karaoke" - Dropkick Murphys
8. "Golf Shirt" - Nerf Herder
9. "Take this Heart" - Richard Marx
10. "Smash" - The Offspring

Just needed something to do while dinner was in the oven. Really though, these are all good songs...you should listen to them.

Friday, November 26, 2004

Things I've learned in the past few days

- You can never be everything to everybody. Try as hard as you want, but you'll always end up leaving someone behind

- If you just meet adversity head on, things generally work out in the end

- Ron Artest was punished for being human. Are you telling me you wouldn't flip out if some drunken asshole was throwing stuff at you? He didn't even throw a punch until the fat idiot in the wallace jersey came out on the court (my opinion: on the court, you are fair game).

- Regarding the fight: the look on the face of the guy Artest first went after was priceless. In the Pantheon of faces, it was only slightly below the Steve Spurrier "I'm way overmatched in the NFL face". Also, Jermaine O'Neal clocking the aforementioned idiot on the court is hysterical every time I see it.

- Regarding Ron Artest: Did you know when he was with the Bulls, he actually applied for a job at Circuit City (or some other major electronics store) so that he could get a discount on merchandise? He listed his GM, Jerry Krause, as a reference. How could you not like this guy?

- Be thankful for all that you have, especially friends and family because they are the ones who are still there when you are not even sure where your own self is.

- And finally, never underestimate the power of a good book; a used bookstore is perhaps the cheapest form of entertainment available.

Sunday, November 21, 2004

I know its not how the saying goes but...

The way to a man's heart may possibly be through his DVD player.

Oh yeah, and making me dinner doesn't hurt either.

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

With apologies to Eminem

And suddenly it seems that my shoulder blades have just shifted. It's like the greatest gift you can get. The weight has been lifted.

Sunday, November 07, 2004

David, I'm going to be honest with you: you're short.

We have a new member to the pantheon of quality programming brought to us by the fox broadcasting company. That's right, the channel that has given us life changing television events such as Man vs. Beast (in which analyst Carl Lewis listed "must realize it's a race" as the key to victory for the zebra and olympic gold medalist sprinter Shawn Crawford actually claimed the zebra false started after he lost said race), Celebrity Daredevils (which brought us the classic moment when Dennis Rodman was nearly killed as he swung violently into the side of a cliff), and The Littlest Groom (a bachelor style show for midgets, during which the "groom" was made to choose from a pool of dwarfed and regularly sized females) may have outdone itself with its latest offering...My Big Fat Obnoxious Boss.

Anyone who knows me knows my disdain for the "profession" of business executive, and in an incredibly humourous fashion this show has exposed these lowlifes as the fake, arrogant brown nosers that they truly are...and this was accomplished within the first 10 minutes! Everything else is just icing on the cake. I truly loved the moment when "expensive" champagne and hors d'oeuvres were served...which were actually cheap bottles of bubbly from the local convenience market and treats made with oscar meyer bologna, cheez wiz, and yes, even spam. All of the business savvy contestants were raving about the quality (one went as far to say the champagne definitely tasted expensive and another couldnt believe the taste of luxury he had just experienced...ah the mighty power of sucking up)

So here are my questions:

1. Every business major I ever knew (or at least the somewhat competent ones) were obsessed with money and the people who have more of it than they do. They knew the Fortune 500 companies and they knew the billionaire CEOs. So how is it that these successful business people could possibly believe that there is a multibillion dollar corporation that none of them have ever heard of? According to Forbes, there are only 313 billionaires in America, surely this guy didnt go unnoticed for all these years, did he?

2. How funny is it to see a guy who thinks he was fired because he wore a "too expensive suit"? How sad is it that he remarks as the show goes off of the air, that if he knew that the boss had such a problem with custom suits that he would have dressed down a bit? I hate to sound like Holden Caulfield but, can anyone possibly be more phony?

3. And finally, why would anyone ever trust a FOX reality show again?

I can answer that one: because people are idiots

Friday, November 05, 2004

When did I start caring about this shit?

Well I'm pretty sure this is a hoax, but its still pretty funny anyway, and probably has at least some truthful roots.


Perhaps the more frightening stat is that Hawaii has the 6th highest mean IQ among states. Are there even schools in Hawaii? How is this possible...of course not surprisingly Mississippi is last.

I bid thee goodnight with a family guy quote:
"Yeah America's great, isn't it?...except for the South."

Wednesday, November 03, 2004

And then there were none...

Friendship is the ultimate unselfish act. Friendship is not only being there for someone when they are down, but wanting to be. Friendship is a two way street, you must be able to give of yourself in order to reap the benefits. Similarly, those who do not make an effort do not deserve to be rewarded. Friendship is giving a little of yourself in order to spur a relationship that will benefit both on a larger scale. The self-absorbed, inconsiderate, and unappreciative need not apply.
To all my friends in Ohio:

Good job, your state just ruined the next 4 years of American leadership.